What are some tips and practices to improve yourself?
Self-improvement can involve positive growth in any aspect of the self—for example, personal qualities, life skills, education, bettering our relationships, connecting to our spiritual nature, and any area where we simply want more, like health, love, happiness, and abundance.
When we start thinking about self-improvement, it can be helpful to be strategic about where we put our efforts so we don’t waste time on the wrong things.
Some aspects of ourselves are relatively simple to upgrade with the right practices and tools, and some aspects are pretty fixed. So, we’re best served by focusing our efforts on the parts of us that are the most changeable.
A leading psychology researcher, Martin Seligman, offered information through his research about the aspects of ourselves we actually can improve and the aspects we can’t.
According to Seligman (2009), these aspects of ourselves are good candidates for self-improvement as they are quite changeable and adaptable:
● Attitudes
● Mood
● Stress
● Optimism
● Lifestyle
Other researchers have also shown that specific aspects of ourselves can be changed/improved (Sedikides & Hepper, 2009). Some of these areas include:
● Well-being (e.g., self-acceptance, positive relations with others, autonomy, environmental mastery, purpose in life, and personal growth).
● Personality factors (e.g., optimism, gratitude, conscientiousness, mood, attitudes, empathy, openness to experience).
● Personal relationships (e.g., marriage, love relationships, family, friendship, work, and community connections).
● Achievement (e.g., success at school or work, completing projects, personal goals).
● Health and Longevity (e.g., diet, nutrition, exercise, sleep).
To begin your self-improvement journey, here are some tips to try:
1. Engage in self-reflection
Self-reflection is an important part of self-awareness. Without self-reflection, we may not have a clear self-concept—that is, how we see ourselves may not match how others see us (Johnson et al., 2002). By engaging in self-reflection, we can better understand the areas of ourselves that we might want to improve.
2. Try mindfulness
Mindfulness is the act of bringing attention to the experience of each moment. It also involves an attitude of curiosity and acceptance (versus judgment) and seeing thoughts and emotions as transient states (Bishop et al., 2004). Like self-reflection, mindfulness can potentially make us more open to experiences and possibilities that can aid self-improvement, and it can help you enjoy your life more!
3. Cultivate a growth mindset
A growth mindset is a mindset where we believe that we can grow and improve our abilities (Dweck, 2015). If we have the belief that we can improve, we’re more likely to put in the effort actually required to learn and grow. That’s why building a growth mindset can help us achieve many of our goals and improve ourselves in the ways we desire.
4. Acknowledge feelings of shame and societal pressure
The truth is that many of us are motivated to engage in self-improvement due to societal pressures (Sedikides & Hepper, 2009), other people’s expectations, or even shame about not being good enough in some areas. But if we strive to improve ourselves simply to please others, we are likely to end up feeling unsatisfied and unhappy, even if we succeed in our goals. So, it’s worth thinking about your reasons for working on bettering yourself, acknowledging any shame that may be motivating your choices, and rethinking your self-improvement goals to ensure that they are in alignment with your core values.
5. Build reframing skills
Reframing is a mental/emotional strategy that can help us reinterpret stressful situations in more positive ways that help us reduce lasting negative imprints and increase positive emotions.
The first step is to fully process and work through the feelings and stress of the experience or problem (rather than suppress or deny feelings), and then once you’ve worked it through, then you can apply reframing skills.
When you remember a tough, stressful, or painful experience, or it randomly pops in your mind long after it’s over, make a choice to reframe it into something more positive and uplifting. You can try to say something to yourself like, “that was a hard experience, but I learned a lot from having gone through it”, or “I wish that hadn’t happened but I know that I did my best to heal, learn and grow because of it.” The key is to feel good about yourself so you can move forward free of it. The more you practice this skill, the easier it will become.
6. Find and use your strengths
When we aim to improve ourselves, we often focus on our weaknesses—the things we may not do as well as we would like to. But building on our strengths can also be a good idea—it can help us become masterful in our existing abilities. Sometimes we take our strengths for granted, but with a commitment to make them stronger, your strengths can grow into super powers!
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References
● Bishop, S. R., Lau, M., Shapiro, S., Carlson, L., Anderson, N. D., Carmody, J., … & Devins, G. (2004). Mindfulness: A proposed operational definition. Clinical psychology: Science and practice, 11(3), 230-241.
● Dweck, C. (2015). Carol Dweck revisits the growth mindset. Education Week, 35(5), 20-24.
● Johnson, S. C., Baxter, L. C., Wilder, L. S., Pipe, J. G., Heiserman, J. E., & Prigatano, G. P. (2002). Neural correlates of self‐reflection. Brain, 125(8), 1808-1814.
● Sedikides, C., & Hepper, E. G. (2009). Self‐improvement. Social and Personality Psychology Compass, 3(6), 899-917.● Seligman, M. E. (2009). What You Can Change… and What You Can’t*: The Complete Guide to Successful Self-Improvement. Vintage.