Learning how to heal yourself can bring you back to a state of well-being.
We likely all struggle with the remnants of past mental, emotional, and/or physical challenges. So we probably would all benefit from some self-healing. However, self-healing may offer greater benefits for those who are feeling highly self-motivated to engage in the self-healing process – that is, to take the time to implement self-healing techniques and activities in their lives. Just as it takes time to build a new skill, self-healing is something that is developed through deliberate practiced steps over time. This is the key to experiencing lasting healing and positive results.
Self-Healing Techniques
The following self-healing techniques can benefit many aspects of your mental, emotional, and physical health. They may help you feel a bit better immediately but their real power emerges when you practice them regularly. Regular practice can result in long-term, lasting changes in your brain that can contribute to happiness, resilience, and well-being.
1. Start with self-compassion and self-love
Oftentimes, we’re harder on ourselves than we are on anyone else. We might even get mad at ourselves for being sick, making a mistake, or because we’re struggling to get over a past hurt or rejection. We can judge ourselves for not being good enough, smart enough, thin enough or “not enough” in any area that we might be struggling with in our lives. But by being extra hard on ourselves (harder than we would ever be on a loved one), we ultimately hurt ourselves more and it can sabotage our best intentions. It doesn’t help us get well, feel better, transform our experience, or enjoy our lives. As a result, we can stall our healing and live indefinitely in an unhappy, sick, depressed or anxious state.
That’s why self-love and self-compassion can be great tools, and probably the most important thing you can do for your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual health. Self-healing occurs when your inner world is calm and directed in the right way. You might start by writing yourself a letter – a letter where you say kind things to yourself, acknowledge the beautiful qualities and talents you have, and celebrate your successes. This is what self-love is all about and this type of practice should not be confused with all of the early life messages that you may have been taught that said it was something else.
Also important, think about a few ways that you can be more thoughtful, kind and caring towards yourself and others. You might think about something that happened where you wished you had treated yourself or someone you care about better, and how you will do it differently the next time you feel that way. You can honor how you feel and upgrade your present and future experiences by rescripting them in your mind. Think about it as a dress rehearsal for a better tomorrow! You will have good results if these types of upgrades are well thought through and decided in advance – and even better results if you also write them down.
Next, begin to pay attention to your inner dialogue. Listen carefully to the words, messages, and the tone you use when you talk to yourself. Weed out the damaging and against-self ones that you might silently say when you’re upset. You’ll know that they are negatively affecting you because you’ll become stressed and your body will tighten up! Emotionally, you’ll also start to feel really bad about yourself.
You can learn to upgrade your negative thoughts so they become supportive and uplifting instead of negative and harming. When you are positive and kind to yourself, you’ll feel at ease in your body and good about yourself emotionally. Listen, everyone makes mistakes and they are important learning opportunities. When you catch yourself with a thought or term you want to change, write down the “harmful” one and next to it rewrite a new one that is more positive. Practice using it so it becomes more natural when you’re in a stressful situation next time.
My number one rule is: NEVER, EVER say anything to yourself that you wouldn’t say out loud to someone you really love! This takes some practice but if you think about it this way, you can replace those negative messages with positive, kind, and compassionate ones. This is a magical process because over time, your brain will rewire itself to the new positive statements and they will begin to be automatic and not forced.
A technique that can be extremely helpful is to pretend that someone you care about is telling you what they are saying to themselves and think about what you might say to them about it. Usually, we naturally know how to help someone else feel better but when it comes to ourselves we struggle to come up with the positive statements. This can make the process easier in the beginning, as you learn new ways to communicate with yourself.
Related to this, you might also learn how to set better boundaries to keep others from crossing lines that are important to you. This practice can alleviate a lot of relationship stress. And, you might work on developing assertive and kind communication skills so that you can advocate for yourself and be crystal clear when talking to others about your needs and wishes.
2. Get more sleep
Did you know that we do much of our healing while we’re asleep? That’s right – lack of sleep can weaken the immune system making it harder for the body to heal itself (Obarra-Coronado et al., 2015) Lack of sleep can also contribute to higher levels of stress hormones like norepinephrine and epinephrine (Zhang et al., 2011). These hormones can lead us to feel more anxious and burned out. That makes sleep absolutely essential for self-healing and lasting health.
Too often we stay up late, get up early, and force ourselves to stay awake when we’re exhausted. This can also happen when we “push through” to complete something even when we’re tired or fatigued. Of course, occasionally, this is not a big deal. It’s becomes a problem when it is habitual and has become a way of life. Many people will prioritize getting extra work done or going to the gym instead of getting that extra bit of sleep that would really make a big difference in their outlook and ability to feel good and energized during the day. If you feel continuously tired and stressed, it’s time to think about getting rest and sleep to recharge.
3. Breathe deeper
If you’ve been struggling with stress, trauma, or physical health issues, your sympathetic, “fight-or-flight” system (survival) has likely been activated for a while. To calm your sympathetic nervous system’s response to stress, you need to activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for restoring inner equilibrium and calming the survival mechanism in your body.
One of the easiest ways to activate the parasympathetic nervous system is with controlled and deep breathing. For example, SKY breathing – a technique involving cycling slow breathing (2 – 4 breathes per minute) then fast (30 breaths per minute), then three long “Om’s, or a long vibrating exhale – has been shown to calm your nerves and lower anxiety (Zope & Zope, 2013).
Another popular breathing technique is “box breathing”. This involves breathing for a count of four, holding your breathe for a count of four, exhaling for a count of four, and holding again for a count of four. Practice breathing this way for a little bit each day, or when you feel really stressed, to help boost parasympathetic activity and help your body calm down and recover inner harmony.
4. Mindfulness meditation
Mindfulness is a technique that involves “paying attention on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally to the unfolding of experience moment by moment” (Kabat-Zinn, 20023). Research shows that mindfulness practice can help reduce both anxiety and depression (Khoury et al., 2013)
Self-Healing Activities
Here are a few other activities that you might find to be helpful for self-healing.
- Try positive visualization. Visualizing yourself in a relaxing, positive space can help soothe your body and ease your mind. Try remembering a great experience and bring back the good feelings as you visualize it in your mind and feel it in your heart.
- Listen to soothing music. Calming music can help reduce stress and restore mood and attitude.
- Cut out unhealthy foods. Unhealthy foods like hydrogenated oils, sugar, alcohol, and caffeine put extra stress on your body and may interfere with healing on every level.
- Start a gratitude journal. Practicing gratitude is a great way to bring more positive emotions into your life. These positive emotions can transform some of the other types of negative and stressful thoughts and feelings that block healing and keep you stuck.
- Try gardening. Research suggests that gardening has multiple benefits for well-being and can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression.
- Spend time with family, friends, and community. Studies show that lonliness can shorten your life so if you feel bad, reach out to someone you trust and connect.
- Take a walk in nature alone or with a friend. Moderate exercise in nature with soothe your heart and soul, and encourage health through physical activity.
In Summary
We all have challenges that we need to heal and grow from. Luckily, we actually have a lot of power to make positive changes that will transform our health, happiness, and well-being. We can shift the way we think, how we care for ourselves, and upgrade the areas of our lives that help us feel better. All of our efforts to improve ourselves, our health, and our experience of life will move us towards self-healing so we begin to feel better, get well, and live a more beautiful and rewarding life.
References
● Ibarra-Coronado, E. G., Pantaleón-Martínez, A. M., Velazquéz-Moctezuma, J.,
Prospéro-García, O., Méndez-Díaz, M., Pérez-Tapia, M., … & Morales-Montor, J. (2015).
The bidirectional relationship between sleep and immunity against infections. Journal of
immunology research, 2015.
● Kabat‐Zinn, J. (2003). Mindfulness‐based interventions in context: past, present, and
future. Clinical psychology: Science and practice, 10(2), 144-156.
● Khoury, B., Lecomte, T., Fortin, G., Masse, M., Therien, P., Bouchard, V., … & Hofmann,
S. G. (2013). Mindfulness-based therapy: a comprehensive meta-analysis. Clinical
psychology review, 33(6), 763-771.
● Zhang, J., Ma, R. C., Kong, A. P., So, W. Y., Li, A. M., Lam, S. P., … & Wing, Y. K. (2011).
Relationship of sleep quantity and quality with 24-hour urinary catecholamines and
salivary awakening cortisol in healthy middle-aged adults. Sleep, 34(2), 225-233.
● Zope, S. A., & Zope, R. A. (2013). Sudarshan kriya yoga: Breathing for health.
International journal of yoga, 6(1), 4